No boundaries - Happy 60th

Road under construction

At some point in everyone's life there have been things one wants real bad. The want gets to a point where existence seems pointless if not achieved. It could be a phantom cigarette at the age of 5 so that you could go to the neighbor's kid and pretend to puff smoke on to his face or it could be the only cycle that could possibly give you the riding experience like none another.
As time moves on you realise maybe just maybe it didn't matter so much after all. This has nothing to do with you having got that peppermint wannabe cigarette or not. Its just that once you move on further in life you realise that there are a few things you would never know if they mattered so much afterall.

I am not saying its wrong to want something badly. I personally think its wonderful that there is something in your life that drives you to such lengths. The adrenalin rush and the passion to get something so bad is something i cannot phathom beyond a point. I sometimes wonder if I even care and if I don't what would make me...I wish to share the sense of mission that a few people I know share, the zeal to get something somewhere. I admire such people and loathe dream snatchers.

I do believe that we have been led to think that the occurrence of an event or the lack of it would alter the essence of the life we had planned for. 10th grade exams, 12th HSC exams, the medical and engineering entrance exams, the CAT GRE and so on...If you haven't realised there has always been an ultimatum of "if you don't then....."

I completely understand when people say to get to what I want I need to go through this entire rigmarole. I went through it as well. I was told if you don't get 90% in 10th you won't get into science. If you don't get into science how will you write the medical entrance, if you don't write the medical entrance obviously you don't get to become a doctor (hope not!)

I have seen enough people i know who constantly manage to live up to these conditions and are doing well for themselves. They are proud people and rightfully so because they got what they thought they wanted.
But there are people on whom life threw surprises. They aren't doing quite as badly for themselves. And no this is not a "its an honor to be just nominated" kinda speech. Its just that during the short course of 22 years I have come to believe that there is something bigger (no...not GOD and not the divine force or any such thing) that takes its course. Somehow there is a road paved as we go along. Its not been made for you. You make it as you go along. Again I don't even know if I am making sense because probably for some people the defined milestones make the road. Nothing more nothing less.

There are a few people whom I have very high regard for. They have always lived up to these yardsticks while being genuinely great people. Each of them deserve much more than a whole other bunch of people (if you ask me who am i to judge... well these are people who mean something to me and I will judge) I know at this very moment they are paving their roads forward but I do not know if they see it the same way. For their sake and mine I do hope they realise it because sometimes just sometimes...what you want and what you get are two very different things. But then who is to tell if what you wanted to begin with would let you go down this road you are paving for yourself which is what your future holds.

Its not destiny..its not a calling... its what you make it to be....and there is always Karma which will make sure it gets its work done.

its a crowded room
people swarming
there is noise
no words
laughter but no cheer

there are people
yet lonliness blankets
there is a buzz
yet silence rules

eyes wander
do not rest on anyone
lacking nothing
yet impoverished

what a moment
what an hour
what a day
what a life

looking
searching
finding
losing.....
looking ?